this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
