tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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