you guys were way drunker than both of me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
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you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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