Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
