It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
