Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Of course I have a pirate flag
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
