is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
