She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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