I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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