That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
