It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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