i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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