Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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