We're like a lot better than the average bears
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize