Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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