you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This is the high leading the old right now
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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