:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
