I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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