I think i sorta joined a cult last night
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize