I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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