you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
