Just took my morning after pill in the library
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
