I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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