everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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