Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
