one two three fourrrrnication!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize