The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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