You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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