all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
dude. I can hear the air.
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