According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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