dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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