I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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