I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
