what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
did i walk over a car last night?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
