Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
