Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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