THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
