6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize