toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
