Me. At least after what I've been through.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
