We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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