Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
