My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
