And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
