No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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