we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
