someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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