Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i've created a new STD.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
