After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
