please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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