4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
