Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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