how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
