dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
