Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
