His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
