I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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