anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
